I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize