and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
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