There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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