if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
