Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
