it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
