There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize