i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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