You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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