Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
