Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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