Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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