so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
