she was so not down for the gang bang
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
