i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
zippers are such a cool invention
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
