So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
