it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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