YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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