Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
