i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She announced her abortion via fbk
we're making bets on your personal life
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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