Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
