It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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