The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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