Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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