i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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