i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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