It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
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