Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
