Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
