i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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