smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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