she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
