And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
