how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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