Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You've changed since you got that strap on
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