Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Still dying that you shit outside
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You are a genius and a whore.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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