Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
