so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
