I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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