He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
