dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
