I have demons in me.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
