The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
her vagine was all disorganized.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
