in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I don't think brook has ever known best
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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