Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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