Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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