Joe is yelling at the trees again.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
