kristin has been a bad kristin
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
40s are totally the cure
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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