Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize