Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
