great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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