remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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