Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just forgot I was standing up.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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