I heard we made out
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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