..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
