I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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