My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
