$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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