Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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