I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize