so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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