I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
