Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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