after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We named our party play list daddy issues
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
